Fear

To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.- Helen Keller

Whilst browsing the internet this morning I came across a very interesting article on fear. It is quite interesting to note that although I find myself facing a fear of mine today, I was randomly browsing and not looking for anything related to the way I am feeling. I like the way fate so often intervenes in our lives and leads us to see or read things that are pertinent at a specific time.

In the article “The courage to live consciously”, by Steve Pavlina, he names courage as the ability to face down imaginary fears and reclaim the far more powerful life that you've denied yourself. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of going broke. Fear of being alone. Fear of humiliation. Fear of public speaking. Fear of being ostracized by family and friends. Fear of physical discomfort. Fear of regret. Fear of success.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain

"Courageous people are still afraid, but they don't let the fear paralyze them. People who lack courage will give into fear more often than not, which actually has the long-term effect of strengthening the fear. When you avoid facing a fear and then feel relieved that you escaped it, this acts as a psychological reward that reinforces the mouse-like avoidance behaviour, making you even more likely to avoid facing the fear in the future. So the more you avoid asking someone out on a date, the more paralyzed you'll feel about taking such actions in the future. You are literally conditioning yourself to become more timid and mouse-like.

Such avoidance behaviour causes stagnation in the long run. As you get older, you reinforce your fear reactions to the point where it's hard to even imagine yourself standing up to your fears. You begin taking your fears for granted; they become real to you. You cocoon yourself into a life that insulates you from all these fears

Twenty years pass, and you realize that your life hasn't changed all that much. You've settled down. All that's really left now is to live out the remainder of your years as contently as possible and then settle yourself into the ground, where you'll finally achieve total safety and security.

But still, that tiny voice in the back of your mind recalls that this isn't the kind of life you wanted to live.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The way out of this vicious cycle is to summon your courage and confront that inner voice.

See if you can reduce that voice to just a single word or two. What is it telling you to do? Leave. Quit. Speak. Write. Dance. Act. Exercise. Sell. Switch. Move on. Let go. Ask. Learn. Forgive."

I have yet to figure out what my word is for the day . Certain derogatory terms keep coming to mind but I am certain this was not what the author intended. I will indeed work through this and come up with something more constructive before the weekend is through.

I do recommend that you read the whole article , It’s inspiring ! http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/courage-to-live-consciously.htm

Stuck in neutral

My one and only attempt at painting this year so far has not been particularly successful !

I am extremely distracted and wrongly assumed that I would be able to rush into the studio and create in between the chaos of celebrating matric results , the anxiety of waiting to hear from universities and the incredible turmoil of trying to organize a child leaving home to study in a different province.

The resulting painting is a mess but it can be painted over and I will begin again ! Which brings me to the point of using colour with confidence !

Because I was so unfocussed on my work, I was not painting spontaneously when I put brush to canvas. I was concentrating too hard on trying to “make it work”. I was not using the colours instinctively but trying to structure the painting with colours that by society “norms “should look good together.

Some artist may get it right, however, I never do. If I don’t paint from a deeper inner inspiration using the colours that make me feel good at the time, the work is not exhibitable.

I love colour, I thrive on it, and to me, living with colour happens instinctively. There are times though, especially when I feel stressed or when I have too much else on the go , that I let reasoning take precedent over instinct and that’s when the social “norms “of using colour come into play and mess up my work.

It has long been a trend to use “neutral “colours in our homes and for our dress codes because “neutrals” are safe !

According to Kelly Berg interior designer, colour consultant and writer, based in the San Francisco Bay Area, we’ve been trained to think that being neutral is a good thing. The word “neutral” has a mostly positive connotation in our society. If we’re neutral, we’re not hostile. We are not out to offend anyone. We are calm and under control. We go along with everything and are considerate of others. We don’t take risks, we don’t make statements, and we don’t express our true feelings. We do and think as we’re supposed to and in doing so we live in a safe and uncomplicated world.

For those of us who have been brought up with this belief , even we creative’s, it can be hard to feel brave about using colour whether we are dressing , painting our homes or creating a work of art.

Consider gazing over a beautiful green meadow sprinkled with wild flowers and commenting, “I love this landscape, but it’s just not neutral enough for me. I really would have gone with Tawny Taupe for the grass colour. It would be much more relaxing”?

Nature doesn’t care about being “neutral”, and neither should we. “Neutrals” were created out of fear. Fear of offending. Fear of committing. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear of standing out and being different. But who wants to live in an environment built on fear? It’s time for us to
all say no to “neutrals” and happily embrace the hues that nature intended.

So to those of you who feel the desire to express yourselves in colour – BE BOLD ! Let go of what “should” look good or feel good and play with the colours that lift your spirit without giving thought to whether they work or not . My bet is that once you put the colours you love together, the look will work – simply because it’s no longer trying to be a “look”.