Fear

To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.- Helen Keller

Whilst browsing the internet this morning I came across a very interesting article on fear. It is quite interesting to note that although I find myself facing a fear of mine today, I was randomly browsing and not looking for anything related to the way I am feeling. I like the way fate so often intervenes in our lives and leads us to see or read things that are pertinent at a specific time.

In the article “The courage to live consciously”, by Steve Pavlina, he names courage as the ability to face down imaginary fears and reclaim the far more powerful life that you've denied yourself. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of going broke. Fear of being alone. Fear of humiliation. Fear of public speaking. Fear of being ostracized by family and friends. Fear of physical discomfort. Fear of regret. Fear of success.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain

"Courageous people are still afraid, but they don't let the fear paralyze them. People who lack courage will give into fear more often than not, which actually has the long-term effect of strengthening the fear. When you avoid facing a fear and then feel relieved that you escaped it, this acts as a psychological reward that reinforces the mouse-like avoidance behaviour, making you even more likely to avoid facing the fear in the future. So the more you avoid asking someone out on a date, the more paralyzed you'll feel about taking such actions in the future. You are literally conditioning yourself to become more timid and mouse-like.

Such avoidance behaviour causes stagnation in the long run. As you get older, you reinforce your fear reactions to the point where it's hard to even imagine yourself standing up to your fears. You begin taking your fears for granted; they become real to you. You cocoon yourself into a life that insulates you from all these fears

Twenty years pass, and you realize that your life hasn't changed all that much. You've settled down. All that's really left now is to live out the remainder of your years as contently as possible and then settle yourself into the ground, where you'll finally achieve total safety and security.

But still, that tiny voice in the back of your mind recalls that this isn't the kind of life you wanted to live.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The way out of this vicious cycle is to summon your courage and confront that inner voice.

See if you can reduce that voice to just a single word or two. What is it telling you to do? Leave. Quit. Speak. Write. Dance. Act. Exercise. Sell. Switch. Move on. Let go. Ask. Learn. Forgive."

I have yet to figure out what my word is for the day . Certain derogatory terms keep coming to mind but I am certain this was not what the author intended. I will indeed work through this and come up with something more constructive before the weekend is through.

I do recommend that you read the whole article , It’s inspiring ! http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/courage-to-live-consciously.htm

Stuck in neutral

My one and only attempt at painting this year so far has not been particularly successful !

I am extremely distracted and wrongly assumed that I would be able to rush into the studio and create in between the chaos of celebrating matric results , the anxiety of waiting to hear from universities and the incredible turmoil of trying to organize a child leaving home to study in a different province.

The resulting painting is a mess but it can be painted over and I will begin again ! Which brings me to the point of using colour with confidence !

Because I was so unfocussed on my work, I was not painting spontaneously when I put brush to canvas. I was concentrating too hard on trying to “make it work”. I was not using the colours instinctively but trying to structure the painting with colours that by society “norms “should look good together.

Some artist may get it right, however, I never do. If I don’t paint from a deeper inner inspiration using the colours that make me feel good at the time, the work is not exhibitable.

I love colour, I thrive on it, and to me, living with colour happens instinctively. There are times though, especially when I feel stressed or when I have too much else on the go , that I let reasoning take precedent over instinct and that’s when the social “norms “of using colour come into play and mess up my work.

It has long been a trend to use “neutral “colours in our homes and for our dress codes because “neutrals” are safe !

According to Kelly Berg interior designer, colour consultant and writer, based in the San Francisco Bay Area, we’ve been trained to think that being neutral is a good thing. The word “neutral” has a mostly positive connotation in our society. If we’re neutral, we’re not hostile. We are not out to offend anyone. We are calm and under control. We go along with everything and are considerate of others. We don’t take risks, we don’t make statements, and we don’t express our true feelings. We do and think as we’re supposed to and in doing so we live in a safe and uncomplicated world.

For those of us who have been brought up with this belief , even we creative’s, it can be hard to feel brave about using colour whether we are dressing , painting our homes or creating a work of art.

Consider gazing over a beautiful green meadow sprinkled with wild flowers and commenting, “I love this landscape, but it’s just not neutral enough for me. I really would have gone with Tawny Taupe for the grass colour. It would be much more relaxing”?

Nature doesn’t care about being “neutral”, and neither should we. “Neutrals” were created out of fear. Fear of offending. Fear of committing. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear of standing out and being different. But who wants to live in an environment built on fear? It’s time for us to
all say no to “neutrals” and happily embrace the hues that nature intended.

So to those of you who feel the desire to express yourselves in colour – BE BOLD ! Let go of what “should” look good or feel good and play with the colours that lift your spirit without giving thought to whether they work or not . My bet is that once you put the colours you love together, the look will work – simply because it’s no longer trying to be a “look”.

As the year ends....

Today is my last official work day before year end .

Being self employed and a single parent does not seem to qualify me for official leave , however I am off to Jhb to spend Christmas with my much loved parents and hopefully regain a little sanity through their wise counsel.

Altogether 2009 has been a good year for me on the work front. My new work has been well received and in spite of the recession exhibitions have been successful. I have been fortunate to deal with the most wonderful clients. I can never express enough how heart warming it is for someone to derive pleasure from one of my paintings. Unlike most inanimate objects, a painting is usually deeply personal and carries part of my soul on the canvas. I like to think of my paintings as alive and hope that they bring upliftment and inspiration to those who view them and own them.

Not all of the choices I have made this year have been wise and perhaps I have not yet learnt to exercise the degree of restraint required to avoid emotional turmoil. Somewhere in the recesses of my brain something is telling me that at 40 something it may be a little inappropriate to experience the same highs and lows (although somewhat more discreetly) as my 16yr old daughter. Sadly, this has brought conflict into my usually peaceful life. However I am an artist, we have a tendency to be impulsive, at times extreme and always deeply passionate. I hope that in 2010 my passion is in no way diluted but I do intend to focus it into my work and be less side tracked chasing rainbows.

I hope that in the closing days of this year the conflicts I feel will be resolved by spending time with those who love me, sensible discussion and quiet meditation and in so doing, I can go forward into 2010 feeling positive about potential new projects and certain about the direction I am going to take with my work.

To my fans, my clients, my friends, a deeply sincere thanks for your positive input into my life this year. Your encouragement, kind words and unwavering support keeps me inspired.

I wish you and your loved ones a wonderful, peaceful festive season. May the best of 2009 be the worst of 2010 for you!

Much love and thanks

Bridgette

Venturing into PRINTS !!

In the last few weeks I have been investigating the viability of producing prints of some of my work .

It has taken a lot of hard work and research to find the best method of printing on the highest quality papers and canvas available but it has most certainly been worth the effort !

I have created a separate business venture for the prints , primarily because the service will ultimately be extended beyond that of printing just my own art work . Check out the website ! So people , if you have a photo you want to put on canvas or any one of the other styles we offer - let me know !

Initially this was a joint venture between a fellow artist ( photographer ) and myself but sadly , as is so often the case in business , one partner ends up doing the majority of the work and in my case , all the financial investment too . It was simply not viable to continue a work relationship with someone who was not sufficiently motivated to contribute towards making the business a success.

As an individual I like to live inspired , I am highly motivated and driven and could no longer deal with the emotional energy it took trying to motivate my partner ,having to recover from continually being let down and having the wool pulled over my eyes.

The printers I have selected and I will be running a few test prints tomorrow to make sure the quality and colouring is up to standard and thereafter I will be printing a series of limited editions on some work.

I am very excited about branching out into offering prints of my art . Prints can provide the opportunity of owning some excellent work otherwise not available. Many high profile artists view the medium as an integral part of what they do and have elected to do significant works in print, This has contributed to the increasing value of prints worldwide !

Have a look at this interesting article on prints

Colour Aura meanings

Many people ask about aura colour meanings. What are the meanings of aura colours? How do you interpreter auras? What does each colour mean in the aura? Everyone and everything has an aura. Our aura is filled with colours that reflect and depict each and every facets of ourselves. These colours tell everything about us and can be interpreted because each colour has a meaning.

RED:Relates to the physical body, heart or circulation. The densest color, it creates the most friction. Friction attracts or repels; money worries or obsessions; anger or unforgiveness; anxiety or nervousnes. Red indicates desire, vitality, power, the urge to win, to have success, intensity of experience, action, doing, love of sports, struggle, competition, force of will, leadership, strength, courage, passion, eroticism, earthiness, practicality, desire for possessions, sense of adventure, the survival instinct. A majority of young children and teenagers especially boys, have bright red auras. Deep Red: Grounded, realistic, active, strong will-power, survival-oriented. Muddied red: Anger (repelling) Clear red: Powerful, energetic, competitive, sexual, passionate Pink-bright and light: Loving, tender, sensitive, sensual, artistic, affection, purity, compassion; new or revieved romantic relationship. Can indicate clairaudience. Dark and murky pink: Immature and/or dishonest nature Orange Red: Confidence, creative power In a good, bright and pure state, red energy can serve as a healthy ego. ORANGE AURA COLOR: Relates to reproductive organs and emotions. The color of vitality, vigor, good health and excitement. Lots of energy and stamina, creative, productive, adventurous, courageous, outgoing social nature; currently experiencing stress related to apetites and addictions: creativity, the emotions, confidence, ability to relate to others in an open and friendly manner, sociability, intuition or gut feeling. The ability to reach out and extend one's self towards others. Many talented sales people, entrepreneurs, and people who deal with the public have orange auras. Orange-Yellow: Creative, intelligent, detail oriented, perfectionist, scientific. YELLOW AURA COLOR: Relates to the spleen and life energy. It is the color of awakening, inspiration, intelligence and action shared, creative, playful, optimistic, easy-going.: sunny and enthusiastic, cheerful, bright, great sense of humor and fun, optimism, intellectuality, openness to new ideas, happiness, warmth, relaxation. Uninhibited expansiveness, release of burdens, problems and restrictions. Talent for organization. Hope and expectation, inspiration. People with yellow auras encourage and support others by naturally being themselves; they radiate like the sun and they also may have a great ability to analyze complex concepts. Light or pale yellow: Emerging psychic and spiritual awareness; optimism and hopefulness; positive excitement about new ideas. Bright lemon-yellow: Struggling to maintain power and control in a personal or business relationship; fear of losing control, prestige, respect, and/or power. Clear gold metallic, shiny and bright: Spiritual energy and power activated and awakened; an inspired person. Dark brownish yellow or gold: A student, or one who is straining at studying; overly analitical to the point of feeling fatigued or stressed; trying to make up for "lost time" by learning everything all at once. GREEN AURA COLOR: Relates to heart and lungs. It is a very comfortable, healthy color of nature. When seen in the aura this usually represents growth and balance, and most of all, something that leads to change. Love of people, animals, nature; teacher; social perseverance, tenacity, firmness, patience, sense of responsibility and service, self assertiveness, high ideals and aspirations, dedication, puts high value on work and career. Ambitious desire for respectability and personal attainment, deeply focused and adaptable. Green is also the color of growth and of dedicated parents, social workers, counselors, psychologists, and other persons focusing on creating positive change in the world. Bright emerald green: A healer, also a love-centered person Yellow-Green: Creative with heart, communicative Dark or muddy forest green: Jealousy, resentment, feeling like a victim of the world; blaming self or others; insecurity and low self-esteem; lack of understanding personal responsibility; sensitive to perceived criticism Turquoise: Relates to the immune system. Sensitive, compassionate, healer, therapist. BLU AURA COLOR: Relates to the throat, thyroid. Cool, calm, and collected. Caring, loving, love to help others, sensitive, intuitive. Depth of feeling, devotion, loyalty, trust, desire to communicate. Puts great importance on personal relationships. Empathic. May be a dreamer or have artistic ability. Possibly tend to put the needs of others before their own and may ave the ability to meditate, and live in the moment. Blue may be emotionally sensitive, intuitive, inwardly focused, may enjoy solitude, non-competitive activities, be receptive and desire unity, peace, love and affection in relationships with others. They need a calm and tranquil environment. You'll find many blue artists, poets, writers, musicians, philosophers, serious students, spiritual seekers, and people looking for truth, justice and beauty in everything. Soft blue: Peacefulness, clarity and communication; truthful; intuitive Bright royal blue: Clairvoyant; highly spiritual nature; generous; on the right path; new opportunities are coming Dark or muddy blue: Fear of the future; fear of self-expression; fear of facing or speaking the truth INDIGO AURA COLOR: Relates to the third eye, visual and pituitary gland. Intuitive, sensitive, deep feeling. VIOLET AURA COLOR: Relates to crown, pineal gland and nervous system. The most sensitive and wisest of colors. This is the intuitive color in the aura, and reveals psychic power of attunement with self. Intuitive, visionary, futuristic, idealistic, artistic, magical.original, tends to be unconventional, often has psychic abilities, unusual charisma and charm, the uncommon ability to make their dreams come true, or manifest their desires in the material world, wish to charm and delight others and can easily connect with higher planes of consciousness. Playful, nonjudgmental, tolerant of others' eccentricities. Sensitive and compassionate. People who have purple auras appreciate tenderness and kindness in others. Not especially practical, they tend to prefer to live in a dream world of their own creation. You'll find many "violet or purple" entertainers, movie stars, free thinkers, visionaries, revolutionaries, and otherwise singular and magnetic individuals. Dark violet could indicate a need to take charge of their life, or perhaps, that the person needs time to spiritually ground himself or herself. LAVENDER AURA COLOR: Imagination, visionary, daydreamer, etheric. SILVER AURA COLOR: This is the color of abundance, both spiritual and physical. Lots of bright silver can reflect to plenty of money, and/or awakening of the cosmic mind. Bright metallic silver: Receptive to new ideas; intuitive; nurturing Dark and muddy gray: Residue of fear is accumulating in the body, with a potential for health problems, especially if gray clusters seen in specific areas of the body GOLD AURA COLOR: The color of enlightenment and divine protection. When seen within the aura, it says that the person is being guided by their highest good. It is divine guidance. Protection, wisdom, inner knowledge, spiritual mind, intuitive thinker. BLACK AURA COLOR: Draws or pulls energy to it and in so doing, transforms it. It captures light and consumes it. Usually indicates long-term unforgiveness (toward others or another) collected in a specific area of the body, which can lead to health problems; also, entitities within a person's aura, chakras, or body; past life hurts; unreleased grief from abortions if it appears in the ovaries WHITE AURA COLOR: Reflects other energy. A pure state of light. Often represents a new, not yet designated energy in the aura. Spiritual, etheric and non-physical qualities, transcendent, higher dimensions. Purity and truth; angelic qualities. Spiritually motivated, the ability to be open and receptive to the divine, or spiritual world. Can merge with ALL THAT IS. Probably unconcerned with worldly matters or ambition. Inner illumination, cosmic wisdom characterise the white energy. Young children, energy workers, and people who meditate intensely often will show bright white in their auras. Generally, white does not often appear in the auras of adults. White sparkles or flashes of white light: angels are nearby; can indicate that the person is pregnant or will be soon EARTH AURA COLORS: Soil, wood, mineral, plant. These colors display a love of the Earth, of being grounded and is seen in those who live and work on the outdoors....construction, farming, etc. These colors are important and are a good sign. RAINBOWS: Rainbow-colored stripes, sticking out like sunbeams from the hand, head or body: A Reiki healer, or a starperson (someone who is in the first incarnation on Earth) PASTELS: A sensitive blend of light and color, more so than basic colors. Shows sensitivity and a need for serenity. DIRTY BROWN OVERLAY: Holding on to energies. Insecurity. DIRTY GRAY OVERLY: Blocking energies. Guardedness

How long ?

A question I am frequently asked is “how long does it take you to do a painting”.

To answer that, firstly, it depends on a number of factors. The subject matter, the size of the canvas and to what degree I am inspired to paint whatever it is I am painting.

Truthfully, it takes years. By this I mean it has taken years to reach the point in which I can execute a painting in a relatively short space of time.

It has taken years of effort to quieten my soul, keep my intentions clear and respect each brushstroke of each painting.

After a great deal of practice I no longer need to think about all the necessary movements I must make, they have become part of my existence.

A blacksmith working steel looks to the untrained eye as if he is merely repeating the same hammer blow, but anyone trained in an art will know that every time the blacksmith lifts the hammer and brings it down, the intensity of the blow is different. The hand repeats the same gesture but as it approaches the metal it understands that it must touch it with more or less force..

The moment comes when you no longer need to think about what you are doing. You become the brush, the paint, the canvas, the art.

of demons and things

I have never in the past been able to paint when feeling miserable .Many have told me that painting is excellent therapy for stress and unhappiness and yet in my experience, anything I paint whilst stressed and unhappy is usually unsellable, in fact I have often torn a canvas off its frame or thrown a painting away because I have thought it such poor quality.

I had to go up into the studio yesterday to get some packaging tape. About 10 days ago I had un wrapped a canvas that I had stored away for almost 3 yrs. I had originally purchases the canvas in order to repeat a painting of Arum Lilies that I had done for a client. I loved the original painting until the client insisted that it be “enhanced “with rust paint which at that time was gaining popularity in the area in which I lived. Intended for use on pillars, pots and other various decor items, said client decided it would look great on a painting. I obliged and she was happy but I personally believed that it ruined the work.

As time passed my work changed and so when I took the canvas out the other day, my intention was to paint a very long landscape but for one reason or another, I didn’t get to it.

Much like meditation or yoga, it is said that painting focuses our attention. It is like separating body from spirit. When the body sets the soul free, the soul either rises up to heaven or descends into hell, depending on the person’s state of mind. In both cases, it learns what it needs to learn; to destroy or to heal.

Perhaps this is the very reason I don’t work when things are wrong. I don’t like facing my demons and I usually feel that I have descended far enough into hell on bad days. There is little need to encourage the visit.

Very out of character, I picked up a piece of charcoal when I went up to the studio yesterday and began sketching on the canvas. Admittedly, I really didn’t like dealing with the demons that transpired but sooner or later I will have to and if nothing else, it was interesting to see what finally became of the canvas that I had stored so long.

The painting is similar to that of the original before it was spoiled but somewhat ironic too that Arum Lilies won over landscape.

The flower is White. WHITE is not really a colour. It occurs when the whole spectrum of light is seen together or when red, yellow and blue colours are mixed. Everything is present in white; nothing is hidden, secret or undifferentiated.

A Greece legend says that the white lily is the symbol of innocence, of that who doesn’t know what danger is. By offering white lilies, you show your sincere love, full of respect and devotion. A lily is said to make one feel like unique, special from all other women.

I will hang the painting in my bedroom for a while. A reminder to love and respect myself; to remain devoted to being true to myself and to keep in mind that I am unique and special. It’s a gift I could do with right now.